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Feb. 8th, 2005 @ 08:39 pm
Feeling:: sademo
Music: Bright Eyes
Title: From Beginning to End
Style: Prose
Genre: Angst/Angry
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, implications, allusions
Summary: Two different people speak, one in plain text the other in italics. They discuss self injury, from two different perspectives, of sorts. Constructive crit much appreciated.

Ouch. It hurts. But it's better than not knowing. I suppose I'm defining myself as a person.

What are you doing? You're killing yourself, can't you see that? What the fuck do you think you're doing?

What am I doing? I'm proving all the stereotypes right. I'm letting the psychologists know just how dead right they were. I'm giving lie to those stupid rumors of my innocence, can't you see?

I can see that you're hurting yourself. You're hurting me. Why are you doing this? Just to hurt me? What are you trying to prove?

I have nothing to prove. There is nothing left to prove, except that I am still alive. Have you ever heard, 'You bleed just to know you're alive'?

No, and I don't ever want to hear you say that ever again.

What, like you can control what I say?

No, I just don't want to see you hurting yourself again.

So? No one's ever cared before what I've done. You keep acting like it's a personal insult to you. Why? I'm not hurting you, see?

You may not be hurting me directly...but stil...

Do you have any idea what you're fucking talking about?

Yes. No.


Do I see what?

You don't know. I don't know. Go away. You don't know me.

Well, will you let me know you?

As if that isn't the most cliched line I've ever heard come out of your mouth. You don't want to know me, you just want an excuse to care.

I don't need an excuse to care- I already have one:  you. I care about you, and I want you to live-

Who the fuck said I was going to die?

Look at yourself. At your arm. Can't you see?

What, see the excess emotion that spilled over? I can see that clearly enough. I can also see that you don't know what you're talking about. Stop preaching at me.

No! You think it's nothing serious- but look at how many other people didn't think that they were serious either. I don't want to see you turned into one of them.

Don't you get it?

Get what?

I'm not one of them. I'm me. I'm a completely different person than they are. Do you know how much I have to live for?

You don't act like you've got anything to live for.

If I didn't have anything to live for, I'd be dead by now. In all seriousness.


I don't believe you.

You never do. You'll never believe me.

Yes, yes I will! I promise I will!

How can you believe me if you won't trust me?


See? You won't ever believe me. You refuse to forgive me, to trust me. How can you say that you'll believe me when you'll never for get this and give me a fucking chance?

I do believe you. I just don't trust you.

You liar.


You're such a lying bitch, I can't believe you. You won't even give me a chance to prove myself, just instantly go off assuming that you know what's best and I know nothing. But I do know something. Can you guess?

Just tell me.

Oh, but that ruins the fun.

Fine. I'll tell you.


I know that unless I'm given a chance to prove myself, I will never learn anything new. I know that unless you give me time and silence, I will never hold any respect for you. I know that if I do not get the time and silence that I request, you will get silence. Nothing more from me. Just silence.

You won't be able to.

God, do you know how much I hate you right now?

Yeah, I hate you right back.

So you go from loving to hating so quickly, then. I see.


Just stop.

I'll tell.


I will. You know it.

You do and...I don't know.

You'll kill yourself? Hmm?

Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up and stop trying to pretend that you know me. Because you don't. You never will.



You won't.

It simply can't be done...

Just give me a chance-

No! I won't!

Why not?

You won't give me one. You don't get one.

That's hypocrisy, don't you agree?

You started it.

That's immature.

So? What do you care?


Then shut the fuck up and go away.


Good bye.