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Jan. 3rd, 2005 @ 05:00 pm First/Example Post

Title: If I were You

Rating: PG-13

Style: Prose

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Death, Suicidal Tendancies. No blood though, just angst.  

I watch you day by day, but it is not wrong. I know the words you say and how you say them; I revel in the unconscious gestures that punctuate your speech.

I watch you, but you don't watch me.

If I were you, I would notice me.

You never know when one day, I might arrive, and the next, I won't.

But you won't notice.

You'll never see me, you always look right through me. Am I invisible? You can see the others, but you cannot see me. You will not see me.


Because I am not there.

You can't see me, won't see me because I am not there to see. Today was the day when I didn't arrive.

Did you notice?

I thought not.

You never notice me.

Maybe you'll acknowledge me now.

Guess what? I'm on the evening news. I made a point to get noticed, and they noticed me. They saw me. They televised me.

If I were you, I would notice me.

Their cameras followed my rapid, freefall descent as your eyes do now. I tumble, tripping on unseen currents of air. I fall.

Ring around the rosy, pockets full of posy, ashes ashes we all fall down.

You notice me now. You say, "That was her. I knew her." Everything you say is in past tense, but you never really did. You never knew me for real.

You didn't know me until they spoke my name over the loudspeaker, you didn't know me until they handed you the rock to put in place. It has my name written on it, engraved in stone.

Unchangeable. Irreversible.

But you never knew me. You say you did, but you didn't.

If I were you...but I wasn't.

I knew you, but you never knew me.

Hello, I can see you. Goodbye, I can't.

Do you see me now? Replayed over and over on the TV, a constant repeat as I fall...fall...


Notice me now?  

Date:January 4th, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
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